Today I abandoned work in order to have my right eye examined for it has taken to being red and disturbing and in public places I become self conscious of my eye. Hath been plagued. Me.
So in the Kaiser Permanente waiting room, where I am seated next to an old black lady with a lace hat on who looks and breathes like a fish, they have Oprah on for everyone to be entertained by while waiting for their name to be hollered by the "Yes, a
Man or No, not a man"-receptionist. People can be so confusing what with the sizes of their jaws in proportion to their brows, cant they...
Tom Cruise is the guest, and what I and millions of others witnessed made me wither inside. I withered because of the reaction created by the audience in response to TC's presence and to his ensuing behavior.
I withered because I was stunned by my own powers of perception which allowed me to have a vision in which I could see the two contracts hovering in gold leaf over TC's and Oprah's heads. There was the one that was written between TC and Katie Holmes, wherein she agrees to perform merkin-service for a price and he agrees to fawn shamelessly as only an overcompensating closeted gay man can ("I love women. I love the way they smell. I want to treat my women the way they deserve to be treated. I love my woman"), and the one written between he and Oprah wherein she agrees to vomit forth only sycophantic mummenshantz in her interview, propositioning him with queries about forthcoming marriage proposals.
I wish you could have seen them as I did. In that moment I communed with both Van Morrison and William Blake.
And yet I cannot describe, you must only look
here.
As a palate cleanser, I would suggest you prance over here to see the so-adorable-it's-orgasmic Blur video referenced above.
A Word On Sith:
1) I held back from shouting: "Cast it into the fire!" during the last sequence
2) Why are all the Storm Troopers Maori? Was it always so?
3) Kiss me like you once did on the lake in Naboo!
4) Padme's Paradoxical Pandora's Box: a uterus the size of a woman in her 5th month, bearing full term twins!
5) Why can't it be like it was on the lake in Naboo?
6) Hayden is cut. Dewy. Skranky greasy hair. I bet he can throw down. Mm.
7) Noooooooo! (arches back in anguish). Cut to Vader. Skywalker now Dark.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Urrrrg. Brilliant photo and caption. Much discussion on Tom Cruise yesterday (fake or real?) and Lindsay Lohan (fake or real?).
The part in the link about TC being more likeable now that he has truly embraced his craziness: so true.
Apparently the maniac blasted Brook Shields again last night on Access Hollywood. He was posing as an expert on the scientific benefits of vitamins for women with post partum depression, noting the lack of scientific substantiation for the benefits of anti-depressants... and he says, her career is over. Could he have meant HIS CAREER IS OVER ? I hope all actors refuse to work with him. He is mean. ( I know so am I !)
This stuff is truly amazing. The colon is such a little forgotten organ until you run into trouble. People don't typically cleanse their colons on a regular basis and that causes many a problem with their Colon Cleansing. With just a little research people can find many different routes to cleaning this organ of the body out.
Post a Comment